Marriage and Other Tomfoolery

This is a facebook note/blog reposting... lame, but this one is for my mom's sake... She reads my blog, but doesn't have a facebook. You don't have to read it twice unless you want to. =]
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I sit here listening to my summer soundtrack on yet another lonely night, but tonight something is different. I don’t feel the sting of solitude, I’m not reduced to tears by the empty silence, and I finally possess a contented spirit in singleness. This night has been long awaited.

Maybe someday I’ll have someone to share my deepest, innermost thoughts with on an intimate level, but maybe not. I’m okay either way. For the first time in a very long time, I don’t feel like less because I don’t have someone. All of a sudden it cannot be clearer to me that God made me exactly how He wanted. I have a beautiful heart, I am precious, I HAVE SOMETHING TO OFFER, and my purpose is to use what God has given me in order to more effectively serve Him… with or without someone by my side. Marriage is not my PURPOSE in life and I’m not worse off if it never happens for me.

The apostle Paul often talks about marriage in his letters. To paraphrase, he says that if you can serve God better as a single person, do it. Even though it’s much more difficult to get a grasp on, if you can serve God more effectively as a couple with someone else, do it. I think Paul had a point there. He never married… The way I see it, marriage is a multifaceted experience. On one hand, it is what Paul said: an opportunity to serve, worship, and love God better because of this other person. On another hand, I believe it’s an expression of God’s love for us manifest in a physical way. A beautiful gift designed to let us be in communion with our spouse and with God in the most pure and intimate way. On another hand completely, marriage is a perpetuation, a contributor to life. I know that seems like such common sense but it was stated so plainly in a conversation with two of my dear friends a while ago… Once you get married, that one person is your FAMILY. Often, I think of a future family and picture a husband and a few children, but as soon as “You may now kiss the bride” is uttered, a family is created. Crazy, isn’t it? Of course you still have moms and dads, brothers and sisters, but things are altered irrevocably as soon as those finalizing words are spoken. Family is redefined.

Frankly, I would prefer to think that I’ll be married someday, but I won’t live by that dream. James Dean said, “Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die tomorrow.” I say, “Dream as if you’ll be married someday, live as if you never will be.” It’s time to refocus and put God at the core and center with no distractions. Building friendships with no hidden agendas or ulterior motives is going to be a driving factor. Weaving a web of Christian support to be there if that spouse never comes, or even if he does, will be of utmost importance.

As this contentedness sinks in further and I become more and more accustomed to feeling worthy of love, I pray that every one of my friends has this same assurance, single or not. Each of you is important and has something special to offer. This story God is writing, everyday life, would not be complete without YOU, that’s why you are here. You have a very important role here and whether that role is to be filled alone with a church of Christian brothers and sisters around you, or in a marriage (haha but also with a net of Christian support of course), is for you and God to talk about.

Plus think of this: if you are wholly satisfied, truly joyful, and complete with it being just you and Jesus, imagine the overflow of happiness and gratefulness you would feel if you were blessed to have a spouse someday! w00t.

No matter what, God's plan is always better even if it's difficult to see. :)