home.

i'm ready for break to be over. that's probably not a good thing since i came home last thursday and it's only monday.

i am alone here.

i want break to end so i can get back to school, but what then? i'm there until graduation and then after that i come back home for an indefinite amount of time. cool.

where are my plans? gone.

what if i don't want to go to grad school? what if i just want to work in a library and be a wife? would anyone be proud of me then? good question. i've already heard at least one person say how big of a waste that would be. thanks for the support.

i see the problems here; i know why i'm miserable, but i don't know how to alter the variables. it isn't my place to make a lot of the changes that need to be made; i don't live here.

it would be nice to have a hint of a backbone, eh?

here's to the jellyfish.

thoughts, after a long while

i'm tired of being bullied. provided, i LET the bullying happen, but i wish people didn't constantly revert to treating me like a doormat. yeah, i'm angry. and i'm hurt. and i'm tired. and i think i'm warranted in all those emotions.

i am sick of people's crap, really, that's all there is to it. i wondered where my tolerance and patience went, but i think there comes a time when it's no longer healthy to pretend that problems don't exist, or to "wait it out," hoping that things get better. i hate conflict. i fear it. but i think the time for it fast approaching. friends don't treat each other like this. and if you don't know that, then you aren't who i thought you were.