Pretzels. They can make you bleed. No lie. I was crushing pretzels to make some strawberry pretzel dessert and my right hand was all cut up. I may have bled into the pretzels. Oops. Let's hope I didn't. Stupid sharp salt.
I sometimes wonder, okay always wonder, what people think when they see me. Is it a happy kind of excited feeling or an, "oh crap, there she is again" type of thing... are people indifferent when I'm around? Just some thoughts.
I also tend to wonder if I've ever been a mistake. Try to follow me on this one... I have had crushes before where I look back on them and think to myself, "WHAT was I thinking?! That was so weird and such a waste of time!" I wonder if anyone has ever felt that way about me. Probably not, I only know of two people that have ever legitimately had crushes on me... I guess that kinda solves that problem.
I wish I knew how to play the drums. That would be sweet.
My grandma drove an hour to my house today just to take me out to a surprise lunch. I had already eaten. FML. I still went and it was really fun. I love my grandma.
I made my summer soundtrack today. :) On itunes I always put together a playlist that gets me through the summer. This year's is glorious. 316 songs full of pure deliciousness.
89 days until I go back to Malone.
Courtesy of my friend Travis, Onion News Network's report of the newest in RPGs: World of World of Warcraft. Hahahaha this is so funny.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
i hate men
most guys belong to a huge bunch of douche-magooshes. not all, but the majority. at least my two closest guy friends from home are. that's all i have to say about that. BAH!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Melt the Sugar
So I felt compelled to blog even though i had absolutely, positively nothing to say. I would try a stream of consciousness-type post but I know that
A) my fingers won't type fast enough and
B) it would drone on forever because I tend to not know where to stop with those things.
Anywho, the post title comes from the song that's been stuck in my head for days... it's the favorite of the day. Huzzah!
This isn't the legit music video... I don't know if there IS one. "Melt the Sugar" by The Summer Obsession. Have fun with that.
A) my fingers won't type fast enough and
B) it would drone on forever because I tend to not know where to stop with those things.
Anywho, the post title comes from the song that's been stuck in my head for days... it's the favorite of the day. Huzzah!
This isn't the legit music video... I don't know if there IS one. "Melt the Sugar" by The Summer Obsession. Have fun with that.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
One Step Forward, Two Steps Back
Something I don't understand about myself is how I can be making so much progress and have my heart set in exactly the right place for growth then all of a sudden totally slip back into old habits. Ugh, I HATE that.
My past few days have been BEYOND amazing! God has been revealing himself to me in a ton of really cool ways and I've been in the best of moods because I know for certain I'm living in God's will right now. But then, just like that, I made a poor choice that I know didn't make God smile at all and I feel so unworthy all over again. GAH! It's intensely frustrating!!!
I prayed about it and I just told God that I don't even understand myself... I swear, Romans 7 is like my life. I don't understand the things that I do, I do the very thing that I hate and I don't do the things that I want to do! STUPID FLESH! I know that God loves me despite my screw ups and I know that He'll always take me back; for that I am eternally, unspeakably grateful. It's just self-sabotage, Satan doesn't want me making any kind of progress in my relationship with God and will have me do anything to get knocked back a few notches. I'm sick of letting him win those battles!!!!!!!
Oh goodness, I need prayer.
Well today's lovely video is called "Start Wearing Purple" by Gogol Bordello. Seriously, look into this band, they are amazing.
I also realized that I didn't include a video on the last post, soooo here's one! It's darn funny.
My past few days have been BEYOND amazing! God has been revealing himself to me in a ton of really cool ways and I've been in the best of moods because I know for certain I'm living in God's will right now. But then, just like that, I made a poor choice that I know didn't make God smile at all and I feel so unworthy all over again. GAH! It's intensely frustrating!!!
I prayed about it and I just told God that I don't even understand myself... I swear, Romans 7 is like my life. I don't understand the things that I do, I do the very thing that I hate and I don't do the things that I want to do! STUPID FLESH! I know that God loves me despite my screw ups and I know that He'll always take me back; for that I am eternally, unspeakably grateful. It's just self-sabotage, Satan doesn't want me making any kind of progress in my relationship with God and will have me do anything to get knocked back a few notches. I'm sick of letting him win those battles!!!!!!!
Oh goodness, I need prayer.
Well today's lovely video is called "Start Wearing Purple" by Gogol Bordello. Seriously, look into this band, they are amazing.
I also realized that I didn't include a video on the last post, soooo here's one! It's darn funny.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Revelation
I write too much about how I'm feeling about things and not enough about the absolute, un-changing, steadfast things- or rather, thing- in life. God is 100% absolute always, never changes, and is infinity times more dependable than the feelings and whims of man.
Okay so, God goes by SOOOOO many different names in Scripture and that has totally been blowing my mind lately. I learned some of these in my ninth grade Bible class but I don't think I really understood how awesome this is until now. See, God has all these different characteristics and in the Bible when people were talking about God, they would reference Him as the one with the particular characteristic that they needed... Just take a look and see what I mean. When I read through this, I'm not even gonna lie, I cried a little bit because God is just so dang big and amazing. :)
(all the info here came from this website: http://ldolphin.org/Names.html)
______________________________________________
Old Testament (The Hebrew Scriptures, or Tanach)
EL: God ("mighty, strong, prominent") used 250 times in the OT
ELOHIM: God (a plural noun, more than two, used with singular verbs); Elohim occurs 2,570 times in the OT
EL SHADDAI: God Almighty or "God All Sufficient." 48 times in the OT
ADONAI: Lord in our English Bibles, "Master'' or "Lord" 300 times in the OT
JEHOVAH: LORD in our English Bibles (all capitals).
Yahweh is the covenant name of God. Occurs 6823 times in the OT, "The Self-Existent One," "I AM WHO I AM" or 'I WILL BE WHO I WILL BE" as revealed to Moses at the burning bush
JEHOVAH-JIREH: "The Lord will Provide." God always provides, adequate when the times come.
JEHOVAH-ROPHE: "The Lord Who Heals", God heals body, soul and spirit; all levels of man's being.
JEHOVAH-NISSI: "The Lord Our Banner." Ex. 17:15. God on the battlefield, from word which means "to glisten," "to lift up," See Psalm 4:6.
JEHOVAH-M'KADDESH: "The Lord Who Sanctifies"
JEHOVAH-SHALOM: "The Lord Our Peace" Judges 6:24. "Shalom" translated "peace" 170 times means "whole," "finished," "fulfilled," "perfected." Related to "well," welfare." Deut. 27:6; Dan. 5:26; I Kings 9:25 8:61; Gen. 15:16; Ex. 21:34, 22:5, 6; Lev. 7:11-21. Shalom means that kind of peace that results from being a whole person in right relationship to God and to one's fellow man.
SHEPHERD
JUDGE
JEHOVAH ELOHIM: "LORD God"
JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU: "The Lord Our Righteousness"
JEHOVAH-ROHI: "The Lord Our Shepherd"
JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH: "The Lord is There"
JEHOVAH-SABAOTH: "The Lord of Hosts" The commander of the angelic host and the armies of God.
EL ELYON: 'Most High"
ABHIR: 'Mighty One', ("to be strong")
BRANCH
KADOSH: "Holy One"
SHAPHAT: "Judge"
EL ROI: "God of Seeing" Hagar in Gen. 16:13. The God Who opens our eyes.
KANNA: "Jealous" (zealous). Ex. 20:5, 34:14; Deut. 5:9; Isa. 9:7; Zech. 1:14, 8:2.
PALET: "Deliverer"
YESHUA: "Savior"
GAOL: "Redeemer" (to buy back by paying a price).
MAGEN: "Shield"
STONE
EYALUTH: "Strength"
TSADDIQ: "Righteous One"
EL-OLAM: "Everlasting God"
EL-BERITH: "God of the Covenant"
EL-GIBHOR: Mighty God
ZUR: "God our Rock"
Malachi calls Messiah "The Sun of Righteousness" (Malachi 4:2).
Isaiah calls Messiah "Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God (El Gibhor), Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isa. 9:6).
'Attiq Yomin (Aramaic): "Ancient of Days,"
MELEKH: "King"
"The Angel of the Lord: " Gen. 16:7ff, 21:17, 22:11, 15ff, 18:1-19:1, 24:7, 40, 31:11-13, 32:24-30; Ex. 3:6, 13:21, Ezek. 1:10-13. Seen in the theophanies, or pre-incarnate appearances of the Son of God in the OT (See I Cor. 10:3 NT).
FATHERTHE FIRST AND LAST
Okay so, God goes by SOOOOO many different names in Scripture and that has totally been blowing my mind lately. I learned some of these in my ninth grade Bible class but I don't think I really understood how awesome this is until now. See, God has all these different characteristics and in the Bible when people were talking about God, they would reference Him as the one with the particular characteristic that they needed... Just take a look and see what I mean. When I read through this, I'm not even gonna lie, I cried a little bit because God is just so dang big and amazing. :)
(all the info here came from this website: http://ldolphin.org/Names.html)
______________________________________________
Old Testament (The Hebrew Scriptures, or Tanach)
EL: God ("mighty, strong, prominent") used 250 times in the OT
ELOHIM: God (a plural noun, more than two, used with singular verbs); Elohim occurs 2,570 times in the OT
EL SHADDAI: God Almighty or "God All Sufficient." 48 times in the OT
ADONAI: Lord in our English Bibles, "Master'' or "Lord" 300 times in the OT
JEHOVAH: LORD in our English Bibles (all capitals).
Yahweh is the covenant name of God. Occurs 6823 times in the OT, "The Self-Existent One," "I AM WHO I AM" or 'I WILL BE WHO I WILL BE" as revealed to Moses at the burning bush
JEHOVAH-JIREH: "The Lord will Provide." God always provides, adequate when the times come.
JEHOVAH-ROPHE: "The Lord Who Heals", God heals body, soul and spirit; all levels of man's being.
JEHOVAH-NISSI: "The Lord Our Banner." Ex. 17:15. God on the battlefield, from word which means "to glisten," "to lift up," See Psalm 4:6.
JEHOVAH-M'KADDESH: "The Lord Who Sanctifies"
JEHOVAH-SHALOM: "The Lord Our Peace" Judges 6:24. "Shalom" translated "peace" 170 times means "whole," "finished," "fulfilled," "perfected." Related to "well," welfare." Deut. 27:6; Dan. 5:26; I Kings 9:25 8:61; Gen. 15:16; Ex. 21:34, 22:5, 6; Lev. 7:11-21. Shalom means that kind of peace that results from being a whole person in right relationship to God and to one's fellow man.
SHEPHERD
JUDGE
JEHOVAH ELOHIM: "LORD God"
JEHOVAH-TSIDKENU: "The Lord Our Righteousness"
JEHOVAH-ROHI: "The Lord Our Shepherd"
JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH: "The Lord is There"
JEHOVAH-SABAOTH: "The Lord of Hosts" The commander of the angelic host and the armies of God.
EL ELYON: 'Most High"
ABHIR: 'Mighty One', ("to be strong")
BRANCH
KADOSH: "Holy One"
SHAPHAT: "Judge"
EL ROI: "God of Seeing" Hagar in Gen. 16:13. The God Who opens our eyes.
KANNA: "Jealous" (zealous). Ex. 20:5, 34:14; Deut. 5:9; Isa. 9:7; Zech. 1:14, 8:2.
PALET: "Deliverer"
YESHUA: "Savior"
GAOL: "Redeemer" (to buy back by paying a price).
MAGEN: "Shield"
STONE
EYALUTH: "Strength"
TSADDIQ: "Righteous One"
EL-OLAM: "Everlasting God"
EL-BERITH: "God of the Covenant"
EL-GIBHOR: Mighty God
ZUR: "God our Rock"
Malachi calls Messiah "The Sun of Righteousness" (Malachi 4:2).
Isaiah calls Messiah "Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God (El Gibhor), Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace" (Isa. 9:6).
'Attiq Yomin (Aramaic): "Ancient of Days,"
MELEKH: "King"
"The Angel of the Lord: " Gen. 16:7ff, 21:17, 22:11, 15ff, 18:1-19:1, 24:7, 40, 31:11-13, 32:24-30; Ex. 3:6, 13:21, Ezek. 1:10-13. Seen in the theophanies, or pre-incarnate appearances of the Son of God in the OT (See I Cor. 10:3 NT).
FATHERTHE FIRST AND LAST
New Testament Scriptures (Greek):
KURIOS: "Lord" Found some 600 times in the NT.
DESPOTES: "Lord" 5 times: Lu. 2:29; Acts 4:24; 2 Pet. 2:1; Jude 4; Rev. 6:10.
THEOS: "God" (equivalent to the Hebrew Elohim), 1,000 times in the NT. In the NT all the persons of the trinity are called "God" at one time or another.
I AM: Jesus upset his generation especially when He said, "Before Abraham was, I AM," John 8:58. Note also his claim to be Jehovah in such phrases as "I AM the Light of the world," "the bread of life," living water," "the Resurrection and the Life," "the Way, Truth and the Life" in John's Gospel. From the Hebrew OT verb "to be" signifying a Living, Intelligent, Personal Being.
THEOTES: "Godhead"
HUPSISTOS: "Highest"
SOTER: "Savior"
WORD: (logos)
ALMIGHTY: (pantokrator)
______________________________________
Seriously. Whoa. God is so cool.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Bliss and Remorse
Happy things have been happening lately. I love the communication that I've had with people so far this summer, I mean, technology has proven to be a valuable tool thus far... Facebook, texting, all this has made catching up easy. There's more here, but I don't really want to go into too much detail. Essentially, I'm a happy camper right now. Yay for that.
I will say though, that I feel phased out of my friends' lives lately. Lame and stupid, I know. It's just because I never actually get to see anyone, ya know? I'm sure a ton of people are feeling this to a point, but it's just so crappy. I wish that I lived closer to my friends. ANY of my friends. I love seeing my Heartland friends when I go to the school with my mom, but I don't want to seem too much like that lame-o graduate who never leaves and who never realizes that she's HAD her time at HCS. Ah well, that's where I stand for now.
Okay, here's the END OF ZE WORLD!!! So funny, a little bit profane, but SO funny.
I will say though, that I feel phased out of my friends' lives lately. Lame and stupid, I know. It's just because I never actually get to see anyone, ya know? I'm sure a ton of people are feeling this to a point, but it's just so crappy. I wish that I lived closer to my friends. ANY of my friends. I love seeing my Heartland friends when I go to the school with my mom, but I don't want to seem too much like that lame-o graduate who never leaves and who never realizes that she's HAD her time at HCS. Ah well, that's where I stand for now.
Okay, here's the END OF ZE WORLD!!! So funny, a little bit profane, but SO funny.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Summer
Sleep.
Star Trek.
Sleep.
School with Mom.
Clean the House.
Sleep.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
Sleep.
Malone.
That is the strict itinerary that I'll be following this summer. It's going to be a smokin' time. I mean, okay. Lately some of my friends' notes on facebook have gotten me to really think about the summer and how I was once so filled with excitement and anticipation at the mystery of what the summer would hold that I would only be let down at the start up of school because my summer magic never happened. Maybe if i keep a cynical enough attitude from the get go, I'll less disappointed at the end.
No lie, all I ever wanted was a summer of adventure and of real life magic. It never happened. I just wanted to be able to look my summer memories in the face and say, "I'm not surprised that happened; it's summer and anything can happen." I never got the chance to say that. I want a big, magical summer and I want to feel like I never want it to end. Maybe this is too much to ask, maybe I'm being selfish, but maybe this is the summer that it's supposed to happen...
I had one summer night once that I never wanted to end. I was about nine and my family was camping, not just my immediate, but also some of my extended family. One hot night, it was too muggy for any of us to sleep so we went to the playground on the campgrounds and me, my big brother, my four cousins, my two aunts, my uncle, and my parents played a game of flashlight tag that I never ever wanted to end. I think that might still be the best night of my life. I remember it so vividly. This was a perfect night. It was before the lost innocence of my cousins, before divorces riddled my family, before depression, slipped discs, and surgeries prevented the adults from running around like kids. It was before drugs, alcohol, self-centeredness and bitterness tainted our family. I wish I could return to that night sometimes, but I know there's a time for facing reality and a time for growing up.
Star Trek.
Sleep.
School with Mom.
Clean the House.
Sleep.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
Sleep.
Malone.
That is the strict itinerary that I'll be following this summer. It's going to be a smokin' time. I mean, okay. Lately some of my friends' notes on facebook have gotten me to really think about the summer and how I was once so filled with excitement and anticipation at the mystery of what the summer would hold that I would only be let down at the start up of school because my summer magic never happened. Maybe if i keep a cynical enough attitude from the get go, I'll less disappointed at the end.
No lie, all I ever wanted was a summer of adventure and of real life magic. It never happened. I just wanted to be able to look my summer memories in the face and say, "I'm not surprised that happened; it's summer and anything can happen." I never got the chance to say that. I want a big, magical summer and I want to feel like I never want it to end. Maybe this is too much to ask, maybe I'm being selfish, but maybe this is the summer that it's supposed to happen...
I had one summer night once that I never wanted to end. I was about nine and my family was camping, not just my immediate, but also some of my extended family. One hot night, it was too muggy for any of us to sleep so we went to the playground on the campgrounds and me, my big brother, my four cousins, my two aunts, my uncle, and my parents played a game of flashlight tag that I never ever wanted to end. I think that might still be the best night of my life. I remember it so vividly. This was a perfect night. It was before the lost innocence of my cousins, before divorces riddled my family, before depression, slipped discs, and surgeries prevented the adults from running around like kids. It was before drugs, alcohol, self-centeredness and bitterness tainted our family. I wish I could return to that night sometimes, but I know there's a time for facing reality and a time for growing up.
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