i'm under His blanket

God's timing is perfect. It is perfect and it is unknown to us. Why the heck do we (and when I say "we" I really mean "I", but I'm hoping others relate to this) allow ourselves to become obsessed with knowing the whens, wheres, and hows of God's plans for us? I think for me it's a manifestation of how organized I try to be... If I don't know what God's plans are, how can I be sure that I'm in the right place at the right time to be sure they happen as they're supposed to? Ha, what a completely absurd thought. God works whether I'm in the "right place" or not.

I guess I've been thinking about effectiveness in the Kingdom lately, as well. I know that God will work through any situation, but which situation will He be able to work BEST in? How can I prepare myself to be ready 100% for God to use me? Most importantly, WHY AM I STRUGGLING WITH THIS?! It's definitely not my place to seek control. You know what IS my job? Striving after God. Dedicating my whole heart to Him, unabashedly. Holding nothing back from Him. Losing myself in His presence. Praying ceaselessly for the Holy Spirit to fill me.

I allow myself to be distracted from this far too much. BUT! My heart is burning again. He is set in my sight and I'm not looking away. Not this time.


Current inspiration:
Last verse of "Under the Blanket" by Trevor Hall

Drop to my knees and start to pray for love that fills the seas.
Awake inside my heart, awaken all Your burning fire.
Purify me til I see Your beautiful empire.
Wash me in and wash me out until my wings are clean
so I can fly up to the moon and watch the world breathe.
Please reveal Your love in everything I do and see.
I bow again and again to your Highness that I need.